Day #58 > SUNDAY 20th DECEMBER
I slept soundly till 4.30am, when I struggled to get back to sleep. Sigh.
Up early, downed one of Bob’s pissy coffees & then headed of to Gina’s church for a bit of peace ’n’ quiet & God time. Surely I’ll come back with some grace I thought! So very good to spend some time focussed on God instead of being dragged down by the negativity of this house.
After church – where of course I confirmed & thanked both Dion & Gina for Sherrie’s kind offer – I stopped at Waffle House for my usual dirty Sunday steak hashbrown break-fest & then did a bit of Christmas shopping. That’s right – I actually bought Bob a gift! Massaging lumbar/back cushion for his throne – as, well, love the man but hate the sin right? You bet.
I returned & all was ok, except Mum didn’t have her collar on. And confirmed she hadn’t worn it all day, including when she walked Abel alone. I asked Bob to sort it out. Sigh. But there was no impending ultimatum that I was expecting, as a full morning with Bob working on Mum would result in the ‘get out now’ ultimatum – but no, nothing of the sort today. Mum greeted me warmly, & after popping my Christmas presents upstairs I came down & made us both a cup fo tea whilst she sat & we chatted in the kitchen. No problem at all. This was nice.
Once tea was finished we talked about gardening & I reminded Mum that she was on light duties but all-being-well her collar was coming off for good tomorrow so she only had one more day with it – so only pruning today, & she trotted off into the garden to do the light chores.
I took the opportunity of being alone with Bob to ask what they’d done this morning. Nothing. Bizarre, I said, as you have insisted that I come between the two of you so as I make a concerted effort to be out for more than four hours today you tell me you haven’t actually done anything together – spent any time together – nothing at all? ‘Well, I’ve mopped the floor, & your Mother’s done stuff too,’ he said. My rolling eyes must’ve said it all. But just in case they didn’t, I voiced it:
‘Bob, I’ve been out all morning to give you two some time together, yet you’ve done nothing. I come back & you’re in your chair with the TV on & your tablet in hand to find Mum has walked Abel but hasn’t worn her collar all day. The doctor is going to love this . . .’
I left the room & got a drink of water, as once again I was in danger of overheating. Ok I thought, let’s face this. I went back into the den & sat down, saying nothing. Mum was now outside on the deck sweeping! I look for a few seconds, then – sorry – I shouted pretty loudly: ‘Bob!’
I think he heard me.
I pointed to Mum outside; he said he didn’t know sweeping was a problem. I told him it was. It most definitely was. He didn’t get up, of course, so I went outside – leaving the door open, oops – & stopped Mum sweeping. I gave her a piece of my mind about ‘Just One More Day Mum’ & then came back inside with Mum, but she simply carried on & left through the kitchen door, where she went into the garage & started to move some boxes outside! Wow, she was on a mission today!
I sat next to Bob & returned to a ploy I’d used with relative success previously; ‘Bob, Mum’s outside moving boxes around!’ I said. ‘Is that ok Bob?’ ‘No.’ he replied, ‘It’s not good’. Ok, at least he sees that. ‘She needs some help at the moment’ I said. ‘She’s bored out of her mind today.’ He volunteered.
Really? Thank you Sherlock!
I think you’ll find she’s like that every day & that’s exactly what caused all of her problems in the first place.
I round up Mum, remind her of what she can & can’t do & then suggest going for a walk. She jumps at the offer & we take Abel on a long walk, where we chit-chat & all is good. Simples.
After our walk, I retire upstairs for a bit of peace before Mum comes up around 4.45pm to let me know dinner’s ready. We eat relatively convivially, then watch a bit of telly before heading for an early night at around 7.30pm. That’s enough for me!
I note today that Bob had said he’d cleaned the fridge – which I’d pointed out was a real health hazard yesterday – & apparently he’d mopped the kitchen floor too – which is a good thing.
I don’t know all the answers but every now & again I see him actually being responsive to suggestions, but only for a short while before reverting to type. I wish I knew how to make it stick. I pray for the answer. And I pray for some Christmas Cheer in this house . . .