Day #35 > FRIDAY 27th NOVEMBER
I speak with Lia early – 7.15am-ish – as she’s driving back to Elounda having swapped shifts with Rena looking after her Mum, who’s been in hospital. Something going on at the moment with looking after our Mums eh!
We discuss all & like the shining light she is she offers invaluable insight & advice; culminating in suggesting that when we’re all sitting together I ask Mum what benefits she sees since I’ve been here & after she reels off what she says I can simply say that that’s fantastic & I will stay indefinitely until I’m confident Bob can offer that same level of care & support to ensure she’s safe & happy. Genius.
Of course I can jog her with references to dizzy whilst walking initially then three weeks later walking many miles; drugged up to the eyeballs when I arrived & now dry & feeling much better in her mind and body; drinking too much wine & sherry before I arrived which was reacting terribly with her meds so she’s again much clearer; battling with Bob’s whisky addiction & now he’s off hard liquor she’s able to communicate much better; the fact that she now rarely imagines Bob as an imposter & isn’t fearful, agitated or concerned enough to run away from the house & seek help; the fact that she is much happier in general & is enjoying more time & that she knows she can rely on me to show her love & care – have I ever over-stepped the mark? Have I ever lied? Am I honest?
I do smile. I do believe this is healing for me too.
Get downstairs around 8.30am & have coffee with Mum in the kitchen. Mum doesn’t have her collar on. Aye. We chat about nothing much for a few minutes whilst I make a pot of coffee as it’s empty. Bob’s ears must have been burning as he eventually waddles in . . . & proceeds to tell me that it was him who fell out of bed in the night Wow, I wasn’t expecting that! I was sure it was Mum, but again it goes to show it’s not a wise move to pre-empt or assume things, as you simply cannot second-guess everything – if anything! He was dreaming. What about I ask? Riding a tricycle & falling off he says. Mmmm, regressing to his childhood. He’s ok he says. Is he sure I ask again, as his back is delicate & falling out of bed is no small thing. No no, he’s ‘fine’ he says. Ok. I ask if he did anything stressful last night? No he says & at the very same time Mum says that they both had a long chat. Mmmm. Good ole Bob. I say Oh, well, perhaps it was emotionally charged & that you carried it through into your dreams. He says he thinks the reason is he has run out of his sleeping pills – first time I’ve heard he needs sleeping pills – so I say perhaps, but also perhaps because he drunk beer yesterday when he’s been dry for three weeks . . .
Again, I found my gaze lingering just slightly too long to make Bob comfortable.
I move on with the day, have a coffee & Mum & I walk Abel. We chat about Bob & his fall in the night along with touching very lightly on their emotionally-charged talk last night – but I don’t let it be known I overheard some of it. We agree that it’s good Bob is talking as he’s getting his issues out into the open, & I mention to Mum in passing that it’s terrific that she’s stronger in every way now because she can see what Bob is doing & saying with accuracy now, because it’s got to be hard for him with me rocking his world, but alas all his problems seem to be around him rather than your welfare. Again, I’m back to letting things sink in . . .
We go out shopping & for lunch at Waffle House. I pay, to avoid any issues I let them both know before we walk in. Bob orders triple hashbrowns with muck & white gravy goopy lumpy gritty somethingorover. Love his style. Suspect he’ll eject it within the hour . . .
All goes smoothly: we shop, we return & Mum gardens & I’m on the laptop now answering messages & typing this. So far so good. I thank the Lord for giving me the opportunity to hear & understand a little of what is happening in Bob’s head along with showing some of his cards; I in return will continue to show the man love & care, but I shall turn over his tables whenever he doesn’t honour my Mother.
Mum is getting stronger. No doubt about it.
Quiet afternoon. I do computer stuff & sort clothes upstairs. Come down around 5.30pm & all good. We watch TV & nothing remarkable – Friday fish day so soggy frozen battered fish & jacket potato for diner – all passes as it should with no issues & I hit the sack around 9.00pm.
No wonder she’s bored out of her mind. There’s zero stimulation here. Even the TV is permanently tuned to sports, cars or downbeat skewed Fox News. Sigh.