Day #31 > MONDAY 23rd NOVEMBER
Up early as Bob has spine tests. Alas there’s a mix-up with timings & it turns out the appointment has been postponed till next Tuesday, which means that as Bob needed me to drive him home from his tests we’re all free to enjoy today as we wish.
Now, interestingly, Mum had her collar on. Whoop.
Mum & I walk Abel & all good. She acknowledged she was in a bad place yesterday but wasn’t sure what brought it on. I wondered (out loud) if it was because she didn’t go out (but Bob did) & was given no attention by Bob all day so she started to feel rejected & that feeling takes her to another place? She agreed – but she always agrees to everything! She definitely seems happier today – but then again we’ve agreed we’ll go out clothes shopping later, just her & I, so I’m glad that’s lifted her so far today.
I do an hour on the laptop then Mum & I head off out – living the dream & barely able to contain our excitement we head to Target – which is like a huge John Lewis – where I get a couple of bits & Mum enjoys looking around, exclaiming her delight at finding out where to buy some Christmas presents. We stop en-route at Zoe’s Kitchen for a healthy lunch & have a video call with Eva & her Mum. It dawns on me it’s the first time the two Mother’s have met! They put on their bestest accents & are on fine form – it was a joy to see! Eva & I are simply onlookers, & I for one was left wondering why the heck we hadn’t done this before as it seemed to buoy all of us up. Lesson learnt.
Back home & I’m whacked – shopping always does that to me! I do a bit more stuff & then have a siesta. Up around 5.00pm as we have a video chat with Jane which continues to lift Mum. She’s bright as a button & we’ve had zero issues all day. Nice.
Dinner – burnt chicken in breadcrumbs with over-cooked French beans along with some spongy bread. Best part was the Kerrygold butter!
Abel is scratching continuously so I ask how Bob got on with the vets? He hadn’t called. This was Monday evening & when we’d discovered Abel was suffering again on Friday Bob said he’d call. Oh my. I suggested he/we absolutely needed to call but Bob didn’t remember we’d talked about the vets on Friday – I hope I jogged his memory by recounting all as it had happened. I asked him if he’d sprayed Abel – as the Frontline spray was sitting on the kitchen island – he said he hadn’t & the spray was only inside as Mum had brought it in earlier but not used it. I asked why he hadn’t used it? He didn’t offer any answer. As we finished eating, I took my plates outside then put the lead on Abel & picked up the Frontline & headed to the side door to take him outside, but I hesitated out of Bob’s sight & heard him say: ‘Tim’s an idiot.’
Oh.
I carried on listening.
He said that stuff doesn’t work. So, naturally I turned around, walked up to Bob & let him know I don’t appreciate being called an idiot behind my back. Would he like to do it to my face instead? He squirmed, but said that stuff doesn’t work & I’m an idiot if I think it does. He said this spray, the other spray, the pest man, the Frontline treatment, nothing – nothing – has worked. I contested that actually it had worked as Abel hadn’t been sprayed for nearly a week & the pest man said the fleas would be back as these are the hatched eggs that he couldn’t kill, so we needed to treat them now, especially as Bob hasn’t contacted the vets. I then conceded & voiced that I could not do anything with his attitude & as he clearly thought I was an idiot so had no option but to leave Abel’s treatment to him. I removed myself from his atmosphere & sat in the den.
I heard him tell Mum that nothing had worked & he was amazed Abel was still alive as the spray treatment should only be used once a month. There, that’s how he works, he’d told her that I was risking Abel’s health, yet he hadn’t told me whilst I was walking out that he felt there was an issue, he simply tried to justify his actions to Mum to make me out to be the bad guy.
That is the moment I knew I had to let it go. I cannot begin to appeal to this man’s better nature / heart / conscience / spirit / soul / ego – whatever you want to call it – as he is deceitful & dark & will try anything & everything to ensure Mum thinks he’s amazing, rather than addressing (in this case) Abel’s best interests.
I watch TV for a while with them & rather than festering in anger at my pride having taken a hit by Bob’s whispering behind my back, I’ve forgiven him & I’m releasing love into the atmosphere – as I know it’s simply right to love the man & hate the enemy’s work. I go to bed & sleep well.
I know for sure I have to let Jesus work in all three of us to get any kind of change in this house, as it’s beyond me. I simply need to ensure Mum is safe & do the righteous thing by both of them – love the man but hate the sin; love the man but do not accept the sin into my behaviour – I need to be a bright shining beacon rather than a dictator telling both Mum & Bob what I think is right & wrong.