Day #30 > SUNDAY 22nd NOVEMBER
I’m up early as I leave for Church at 8.00am. Mum’s still in bed, alas, as she had agreed to join me this week, but I’ll keep trying as I feel strongly she should visit & get some prayer from others there, as she has zero fellowship during her daily life.
Bob hasn’t made coffee, so I do the honours & make pleasantries with him for a few minutes whilst we drink then leave.
Chat to Lia en-route. She puts all into perspective: love the man but hate the enemy, & if the man has chosen the enemy then you can’t fight that. Ignore the attacks & focus on Mum, who really needs the help. Let God work through this & don’t get sucked into the enemy’s dangerous games by reacting to him. Play it cool. Make sure Mum knows I am caring for her & keep praying that God will open her heart to this & shine his light in there. Can’t argue with that! She’s a constant inspiration in my life – full of grace & love – just amazing.
Church is amazing as always – have prayer & reminded that we’re to love our enemies but we are able to change the atmosphere, so whenever I encounter darkness I can simply drop down & release living loving waters & bring light to any given situation. Don’t let the flesh take over. Don’t ignore Bob, as he will feel even more put out & react accordingly. Any change has to be what Mum wants – ditto with Bob – & not something I want!
Lia’s words echo in my heart as does her recent experience with a narcissist in her life, with the silent treatment resulting in the enemy ramping up its efforts to get its way & showing exactly what its truly made of. The narcissist has a need to be heard – so let him expose himself . . .
It’s a delicate balance I guess – to start with anyway – as I see Bob abusing & neglecting Mum so have to stand up for righteous behaviour, but I don’t need to enter into conversation with him as it clearly falls on deaf ears; so I simply show Mum that I care with my actions & keep praying that God will shine brightly in her heart to show her what reality is in her life. Yes, I pray Bob is saved too – although I also pray that God takes Bob out of the equation too . . .
I stop en-route for gas & once again am amazed at the cost – $25 for 15 gallons which works out to be around 35p a litre. Ooh.
I return around 3.30pm & Mum’s not in a good place. Sigh. We walk the dog & she thinks Bob is Sally/Sam & I am someone else. She’s very confused. She confirms she hasn’t been out all day & is bored. She needs stimulation. She only had some cereal around 12.00 noon, so hasn’t eaten much considering her recent appetite. Worrying. Second Sunday in a row I’m aware that she’s not good when left on her own with Bob.
When we’re back from walking the three of us chat & I raise what I see. Bob doesn’t have an answer. The silence is deafening. We delve into their relationship & I ask if they wanted to emulate their parents’ marriages? Mum said no but Bob wasn’t too fussed. So I took Bob back to how his father made him feel & he confirmed he felt sad that his Dad had never see him play music (he was in the Rochester Philharmonic on the French Horn) & only watched him play soccer once. But Bob justified it; He said it was ‘normal’ then, & men didn’t show feelings. I suggested that even though it was ‘normal’ it didn’t necessary mean it was ‘right’ – as blacks had to give up their seats on buses etc. & that emotions are formed at the time & then bounce up when you least expect it. He disagreed, & said that he didn’t think anything of it at the time but 10-15 years later he did. Not sure what you’re disagreeing with there, as it adds up perfectly! I gently mention that as children we simply don’t have the brainpower to work things out, as everything is emotional, but when he grew to be an adult he was able to justify everything with his brain, but that wouldn’t heal him or stop the emotions – just give him a reason that it was ‘ok’ to be treated like that; it’s only by bringing it out & giving it to Jesus can we be healed, & that maybe he should sleep on that & give it some real thought. As an adult. Apparently . . .
Unfortunately I have the overriding feeling that this would go right over his head & he was simply waiting for the news to come on the TV.
Mum was entranced & loved our chat. It made much sense to her & she was much buoyed by it & she was back in the room. Bless her. This house & Bob are spiritually issues for her as has been clearly proven by her being fine when away from this house & Bob.
I pray to God to work in Mum & Bob – & me for that matter – as it’s His work to be done & not my agenda. I need to remember that I want my Mum to be happy, & as it stands that includes Bob. It’s God & only God who can change that emotional need for him, although I can show her what a loving relationship is truly like & ensure that she’s cared for whilst I’m here. But boy do I hope something happens as this can’t go on – well, if it goes on I don’t feel it’ll end well at all.
I also pray for light to shine in Mum’s heart to show her life clearly; to show her what love feels like & who she can trust; to give her strength to rely on herself rather than others & for clarity in every direction; I also pray that Bob is healed from his wounds & that he truly finds the One Real God. I pray God clears the way for Mum to live how she really wants to & how she deserves to.