Day 26 > WEDNESDAY 18th NOVEMBER
I’m taking Mum away today to Charleston – two nights but three full days & I’ve scored a little motel right in the heart of the historic district – smashing! We have coffee & Mum says she’s packing.
I get all ready to take Abel for a walk & just as we’re leaving Bob tells me Mum has sometime to tell me about her packing. I ask her & she says she doesn’t want to come away – that she feels she should stay with Bob.
‘Oh my. Why Mum?’
I usher her & Abel out of the door & we start our walk, as this will be best addressed without Bob’s constant me-me-me interference . . .
‘Mum, why after 40+ years marriage do you need to stay with Bob right now, yet after 50+ years apart we have the chance of spending just two or three days together to really get to know each other – as we’ve never had any time alone together before – but you feel Bob’s needs are more important than yours, &, let’s be honest, mine too?’
That’s right, I said ‘mine’! I played the emotional joker on her as I felt I had to fight for her. Bob was twisting the knife once again to make everything about him.
Mum agreed with me, immediately. She apologised & said she’d never thought of it like that. I reassured her that during the time I’d been here Bob had not taken her to a single place that she wanted to go – not one! – & I wanted to take her somewhere that she’d enjoy & we could always call him anytime. Yep, it did the trick & she was onboard again. Phew. What a joker that man is. Please substitute the word joker with something much more applicable . . .
We arrived back at Deweyland & I let Mum do the honours; she told Bob & I just looked on, not feeling the need to say a word to him, as hopefully my expression told him all. What a farce.
We got our stuff together – & I cleared both toilets too as I’d blocked one – possibly two 😉 – & Mum had chucked some paper shredding down the other! – & we hit the road . . .
Phew. We were out of Deweyland. I cannot convey in words how long I’ve waited for this moment. I’ve always known that Bob has a hold over Mum, which invariably manifests itself as demanding attention himself rather than letting Mum simply be Mum – so I’m really really looking forward to a few days in her sole company.
Charleston’s a couple of hours away & we chatted freely the entire journey – no issues at all – just chatting from the heart as she’s so easy to chat with. Obviously everything that comes out of my mouth is received as some monumental piece of wisdom from her Blue Eyed Golden Boy & I find it embarrassing as she’s just too darned ‘nice’ – I really want her to question me a bit more, rather than just accepting whatever I say. But I’m glad to be getting time with her on my own. First time ever. Monumental. Historic. Important. Yep, I’m writing it again as it’s that big. Huge. Mahoosive.
We stop en-route for food & she eats like a horse & enjoys it. She’s happy. We arrive at what turns out to be a reasonably tired Days Inn motel but it’s located in a far from reasonable & tired area of historic Charleston. Perfect. We dump our stuff & go for a wander . . .
. . . Three hours later we’re back at the room having covered five miles! This is the lady who three weeks ago couldn’t walk to the end of the street without feeling dizzy! She was amazing – looking everywhere, talking all the time & brimming with curiosity. She was alive.
I was happy. Very happy.
Back in the room we looked at some old photographs to stimulate memories & emotions – along with me learning a little of the family history, & eventually got changed & went out for dinner. Heading to a recommended restaurant we stopped at a pub en-route which was offering fish ’n’ chips. You can’t take the Brit out of her eh! That was her choice so we settled at a table inside & I tested the water by agreeing with her that a beer was meant to go with fish ’n’ chips, but alas due to her meds & previous history we couldn’t do that now, however I would order a beer as I was not on meds & I will let her have first sup on it after she’s taken a mouthful of food, as I know she misses it. She knew it was a ‘treat’ & not the norm, & agreed, so I ordered a really strong beer. It duly arrived & I just left it until food arrived; she ate a mouthful then I presented her the hallowed beer . . .
She sipped.
She inhaled.
She looked me in the eye & said ‘Heck, that’s strong!’
‘I don’t like it!’ She wasn’t impressed with the taste & went back to her food & water, with no more was said about beer from that moment on . . .
We returned to the room after dinner, watched TV for a little while & she slept well. I did not give her the Olanzapine. No drugs administered on my watch – there seemed to be zero need – & if there were any problems in the night I was there to ensure she would be ok & I could always give her the meds then, just like Bob when he forgets . . .
She was sparko at around 9.30pm & slept straight through till morning. Yep. Nice. I’d call that a successful day eh.
