Day 25 > TUESDAY 17th NOVEMBER
Down early as the flea man is due today – hoorah! About time. En-route through the dining room to the kitchen I heard Bob ask Mum to sweep the kitchen as the kitchen needed to be clean for the flea man. Sigh. Broken neck. Bob just dishing out orders & pointing at things with his stick . . .
I let it lie – for now.
10 minutes later I was Hoovering upstairs – yes yes, I know that’s a miracle in itself – & incidentally I had to strip down hoover & clean the filters to get the thing to suck properly – when Mum joined me with a brush & starting sweeping up there . . .
. . . she had no collar on.
I told Mum to stop: ‘It’s just too much right now Mum, too much stress on your neck’ & immediately tackled Bob on it & he pretty much just shrugged. ‘Nothing to say Bob?’ I reiterated. ‘No.’ He confirmed, & walked off into the den.
Thank God for God, otherwise that’d be the end of Bob right there, right then . . .
I got Mum’s collar on then sat next to Bob & gently – but very sternly – gave him the facts. I would call Social Services to let them know he wasn’t taking care of Mum. I would ensure that Mum was not being neglected or abused.
I told him this was not going to end well.
Did he want her to end up paralysed? No he confirmed. Ok, how can you tell her what to do whenever you want something to help you, but not be able to tell her something that is in her interest? Don’t you care? He did care he said. Why don’t you show it? Shrug. He said she doesn’t want to wear it & she was only sweeping.
Gulp.
‘Bob, do you know what’s best for Mum & that sweeping is ok without her collar on despite the doc saying she must wear it all day except for showering & eating? Why do you think it’s ok to sweep without it?’ Shrug.
‘Ok, how can you show Mum you care Bob? How can you take care of her? Do you want to?!’
‘Yes.’ He replied. ‘Right, glad to hear it, so what could you say to help her remember the collar? Can you make sure she has it – be responsible & ensure it’s on?’
‘Yes.’ He replied again. ‘How? What would you say to ensure she does?’ I ask. ‘That the doc says she must & she could end up paralysed if she doesn’t.’ Bob says. Wow. ‘Great Bob, it should be very easy for you if you care about Mum.’
I left the den, grabbed Mum & Abel & we went walking. I told her all. She thanked me. I suggested after Charleston she could come to England/Greece on holiday – by herself – if she was still unsure about leaving Bob. She seemed to like that idea.
Thomas the pest control fella arrived at 10.00am – he did his stuff & I sprayed Abel whilst he did the house. He told us we need to Hoover everyday as there will be dead insects everywhere. Bob says, & I quote, “I can do that.”
I wondered if Bob would survive the pest treatment himself or would he be affected too . . .
The rest of the day passed without note. Groundhog Day evening of Jeopardy then a bit of news before bed before 8.30pm.
I’m finding it hard to control my frustration & outright anger at his lack of care. I couldn’t give a monkey’s how he treats me, but it’s as if he’s being deliberately obstinate as surely no husband can be this useless? We’ve only just visited the doctor – Mum’s doing very well now but Bob, oh my, Bob is now The Problem . . .