Day #24 > MONDAY 16th NOVEMBER
Early start as Mum & I have an 8.40am appointment with Dr. Lyle for a chat about how she’s doing. Bob’s still in his dressing gown at 8.20am so I get Mum’s things together & say I am guessing Bob’s not coming; he replies ‘of course not – why would I as I’d only sit in the car!’ I let him know that that is exactly what he did last week at Mum’s spine appointment, but no problem at all if he doesn’t want to come & I’ll find my way to the docs myself; so we turn tails & both leave the house. Sigh. Thanks Bob – great help!
The doc is delighted with Mum’s progress. She’s put on weight, is clearly more ‘with-it’ along with a more positive demeanour & simply happier in general. We discuss her meds & how we’re weening her off the anti-depressants & next week we’ll cut the Olanzapine dose in half. Doc asks Mum what her biggest problem in the house is – as she is always much ‘better’ away from the house – & she replies ‘Bob.’ Very telling. He gets to the root of the problem in that Bob is difficult to live with & doesn’t show any emotion or affection, which of course is what Mum craves. He asks how we can all move forward, & suggests counselling – both for Mum and Bob & also for Bob solely. Obviously Bob’s going cold turkey – if he’s truly stopped – so he’ll be up & down, but we’re aware & working with that. I make it clear that Bob is playing Mum & I off each other & we butt heads, but we agree we won’t make a follow-up appointment until we have ‘news’ or progress.
Mum seems simply let down by Bob – not supported – & she knows it deep down. I reassure her she can come & live with me & she’s very happy but of course needs to give Bob more time to heal. Mmmm.
We return home & Bob doesn’t ask Mum how she is. I volunteer that the doc is very happy, she’s gained weight, we’ll continue to wheedle down meds & she was great out. He goes back to giving his tablet full attention whilst the TV is blaring away.
Mum & I walk Abel. I ask her if Bob asked her how she was. She said he didn’t. Sigh. We agree to mention counselling when we have Bob’s attention & that we need to ask Bob about taking the Volvo or will wee need to hire a care for our trip away later this week, as although Bob doesn’t ever go anywhere we can’t leave him isolated as apparently his truck has very bad brakes.
Or can we?!
Back from our walk & I start to type up yesterday & today here – Bob is on his tablet as usual.
The rest of the day passes smoothly. Chat with Jane on video, all good, Mum very attentive & very good recalling information & chatting in general. Very good.
As the evening progresses Mum occasionally gets muddled – mixing up a name for example, but today’s ‘worst’ example was she couldn’t fathom the kettle was needed to make a cup of tea, but could talk through the process perfectly. She must be incredibly frustrated at times. Never lose sight of that.
Quiet evening – Mum good. No issues. No fuss. Nice.