Day #09 > SUNDAY 1st NOVEMBER
Up early as I was visiting Fort Mill for Church – nearly two hours away – so got downstairs at 7.45am & had a quick coffee with Mum & Bob in the den – Bob was watching the Grand Prix on TV. Mum seemed a little unsure of where home was – geographically – but seemed content enough.
Fantastic service – as always – & so good to get some fellowship. my days seem to be full of darkness & negativity – so I really appreciate the uplifting experience away from Deweyland. Also took a church group shot so got to share a little of what I do . . .
Back at Deweyland by 1.45pm; Mum outside in the garden & Bob watching TV. Mum was a little disorientated & asked if I had a good flight & if I’d be staying long. I told her that I was staying for a while & all was good, so absolutely nothing to worry about, but she was a little annoyed with Bob because he’d bought their old house back without telling her & now she was here & trying to sort everything out. I quickly popped my stuff upstairs & when I came down again Mum was standing bolt-upright on a tall bar stool in the kitchen! She nearly reached the ceiling, & was looking in a high cupboard for something. I got her down, told her firmly that because of her poorly neck she wasn’t allowed to stand on stools due to the risk of a fall putting her in a wheelchair for life, & asked her not to do it again. I asked Bob if he knew what Mum was doing, he said he didn’t. I chatted to Mum in the den for a while, trying to work out differences between this house & the other house – front door colour type of stuff – but knew I was getting nowhere, & even if I did, it wouldn’t stick. So, I changed tack & . . .
Took Mum & Abel for a walk. Oh my goodness. What a difference. The moment she stepped outside she was fully lucid. Truly the real definition of compos mentis. We talked about Bob, about new stuff, about old stuff, about how her brain was frustrating her & how I was trying to help but I wasn’t sure if it was confusing or frustrating her, or actually helping. She thanked me for all my help. As she was good, I told her we were going to the doctors tomorrow to let him know about her poorly ear, but also so I could voice my concerns about her welfare – as I felt she was not being cared for properly – in fact I thought she was being abused & neglected. She thanked me for caring. I said I’d like to take her away from Bob & the house for a while for a bit of respite, either to a home specially for that purpose or to a hotel – just the two of us – to take a little trip away to see if she responds & feels better – clearer – away from home. She thanked me. We then met three of her neighbours walking dogs so everything simply caught up on their Sundays & chatted along. Lovely.
Once back I spent 90 minutes upstairs talking with Lia on the phone. I believe all was ok downstairs & the two of them were cooking – Bob subsequently told me Mum chopped a lot of the ingredients in tonight’s cottage pie.
Just before dinner Mum entered the room with a big ole glass of sherry. Ouch. I looked at Bob & gestured he needed to respond to this. He asked where she got it from. She said the drinks place. He said she shouldn’t have sherry, she said she wanted a sherry. That was the end of Bob’s questioning & indeed the full extent of his ‘care’ for Mum.
Sigh.
I took Mum’s sherry from her, said I’m really sorry but whilst you’re on your current meds you’re really not allowed this. She said, ‘Oh, surely just a little – as something’s going to get ya!’ Clever. Sharp. I thought for a second & replied with it’s all down to taking risks Mum, & sherry is a risk you shouldn’t be taking right now. She agreed, & that was that subject over with.
I followed this up by telling Bob that I knew there were still two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry in the lounge. Why were they still there? He said that ‘funnily enough they were bought by mistake.’ I stopped him & told him no jury in the land would believe he bought x2 1.5ltr bottles of sherry by mistake & that was irrelevant to them still being here & smartly dropped the subject. I wonder how long those bottles will remain?
We ate – without an alcohol accompaniment – & all was good except Mum still felt this wasn’t her home, but I reassured her she had nothing to worry about & all was good, especially as it was Sunday evening.
Once dinner was over, we sat down in the den & Bob put the Grand Prix on TV for me – I asked if Mum minded, & she said she had to finish unpacking & was tired, so was off to the bedroom & bid us both night-night & headed for bed. I hung around – yep, watching the F1! – for at least 30 minutes, probably a little longer, & Mum was in her dressing room the whole time.
Around 8.40pm I headed up to bed to have a shower & type this up, although I stopped en-route to photograph the whisky bottle – again, gulp! I do the maths – half a litre of the stuff a day. Oh, I see why there’s a problem with Bob now . . .
I heard them talking downstairs for a couple of minutes, but all seemed casual enough. All is quiet now. Bed early – big day tomorrow at the docs.
What a day & what a change in Mum whilst I was out. I wonder what actually happened behind those closed doors?
