MORE SEPTEMBER . . .
Busy month – need to split into two sections!
I’m up bright & early on Saturday 18th as it’s Crete Day! HOORAH!
I slept surprisingly well, all things considered, & do all the necessary & in the 20 minutes I have spare before the taxi arrives I message Bob, as overnight it’s become blindingly apparent that this whole situation is very skewed.
I type & send this to the Bob, Jane & Lia Facebook group:
G’morning,
Wanted to follow up our call last night @Bob Dewey, as saying you have no idea how many times Mum has been escorted back home & even if you did you wouldn’t tell me as ‘you wouldn’t want to incriminate yourself in a court case’ does not help Mum in the slightest, it simply shows your agenda.
Mum is at risk – not you – as recently graphically illustrated. Her happiness, well-being & safety has always been & will always be my concern. In fact the same applies to you too, but not at any price.
To suggest that Mum is escorted home by neighbours ‘just having a chat’ is nonsense too – no one ever walks the entire length of the Dewey drive just to chat with Mum. Ever. They chat on the street. I know, I’ve witnessed it many times.
Everyone concerned wishes the best for you both, but I’m not sure I’d define the sheriff visiting you uninvited as ‘good’ as you claim – but yes now that the authorities are involved they will undoubtedly ensure she is being cared for & this is definitely a good thing.
Surgery – yes, I’m sure it is doing what it’s supposed to – that seems evident – but I was referring to your repeated point that surgery would effectively ‘cure’ Mum of her issues by allowing more blood flow to the brain – which doesn’t seem to be happening, as if anything Mum seems to be acting worse. There is a cure for Mum’s Capgras & dementia traits as we have all witnessed it, as the anxiety is caused by meds contraindicating with alcohol & bored lifestyle – it can definitely be treated.
She needs a device now Bob, because I can tell you that Mum was helped home EIGHT times during the last week.
Yes, eight.
Mum is at risk as neighbours will not always be home. Her circle will widen. Busy road. You having to drive to search for her. We’ve been here before but this time neighbours are so concerned the sheriff has been called. All we are asking is for you to help Mum with a tracking device & ensuring she is happy, which as per her regular calls is to visit me as soon as humanely possible.
Tim.
That’s it. I’m done with that line of communication now. I grab my things, jump in the taxi & commence my adventure to see My One. Hoorah!
Travel goes well; Day #01 in Crete goes even better.
However Day #02 greets me with a message from Gina saying the sheriffs have been involved again.
Oh my. Here we go again . . .
Additionally, Jane sends me a message saying Bob’s actually called her requesting she speak immediately with Susan to reassure her. She duly calls, but Jane isn’t hugely reassured herselfby the conversation herself. Oh.
I ping off this to Gina which outlines all:
Oh boy Gina, already . . . eek.
I received a message from Jane overnight saying Bob had called & asked Jane to speak with Mum – actually, let me copy ’n’ paste it as it’ll make more sense!
Bear with me . . .
Ah, here we go:
Bob called about 5 this morning (Monday morning) saying Susan wanted some reassuring..when he eventually picked up we had a quick chat said she’d had a bad day and Susan may tell me, she didn’t.
Don’t think she remembers anything although knew something was wrong! And as always blaming herself but as it had been a while since she and Bob had been together they’d managed a good chat today, Sunday! Couldn’t tell me about what though!
Very vague about your whereabouts so managed to keep bringing the conversation back to Crete and visiting. Did say she had to go back to Dr in 90 days, plenty of time to visit then eh! I did mention your wedding which seemed to spark something, let’s hope so….
Such a sad place she’s in, cold and pretty dark for her. Bob did say he’d let me know what the problem was on Saturday if she didn’t, I’ll wait for his call!
–
She hasn’t heard from Robskie so has messaged him asking for the promised explanation.
Ok, message or call me whenever you like – as if I hear you calling I shall answer X
We are x2 hours further forward than the UK – so x7 hours ahead of you, so I guess calls between us anytime from 7.00am till 5.00pm-ish your time, which is 2.00pm till midnight-ish my time – but obviously call/message any time if needed X
I await for the U.S. of Awesomeness to wake up to get the lowdown.
Nothing.
No news is good news they say. Who are ‘they’ by the way?! A whole day goes by with nothing & then on Monday afternoon Gina gives me the full SP of what happened on Saturday at Deweyland involving the cops . . .
In a nutshell Mum was agitated returning home from shopping & pretty much jumped out of the moving car when seeing Bill & Lynda the neighbours at the end of her road. She pleaded with Bill to call the cops, & he said he would but ensured Susan got back in the car with Bob to go home & wait for the rozzers to arrive. She did.
Bill called Gina for the sheriff’s number, got it, & called them. Gina saw the Distressed Deweys return & Dion received a call from Bob saying Susan was agitated, the police were coming & could she speak with him. Dion immediately passed the call to Gina, who kept Bob talking whilst she walked around to Deweyland . . . where she found Mum walking to her determinedly with her handbag firmly in hand . . .
Gina calmed Mum down & chatted until the police arrived; they spoke with everyone individually & eventually suggested Mum get observed. Bob agreed. Eventually. Bob suggested Mum goes to Gina’s for a couple of days as they had offered previously, but alas Dion is Covid positive so that’s out of the equation right now. Hands are tied. Observation was suggested but it was left that the docs be contacted & a social worker arranged for Mum. This is still ongoing . . .
I then get a call from Gina saying she’d managed to speak properly with Bob for around an hour on the phone afterwards – they’re neighbours remember! – & pushed for Mum to get evaluated, as quite clearly the situation is spiralling out of control. He indicated he agreed.
I then called Mum via Facebook Messenger but no answer. Interestingly as the phone was ringing Bob became ‘active’, but my call wasn’t answered. I called again, no answer. I called for a third time, no answer again, but Bob still active. Mmmm.
Not right – so I took a screenshot of the unanswered calls with Bob being active & shared it on our Family Chatty, along with the caption about not enjoying being ignored:
An hour or so later I tried Alexa & hoorah, Mum answered the phone. Phew.
I greeted her with “Hey, hello Mum, how are you there Mum?” Her response was priceless:
“Oh I’m terrible. A very. Bad. Day. But how are you, how’s your family? Is everything ok with you?”
Constantly passing back the questions & focussing on others rather than herself.
We had a long & interesting chat, involving Bob too. It was very eventful & afterwards I typed up a synopsis so I wouldn’t forget & messaged Gina & Jane. It was far too important to sleep on & I’d been out for a meal with the family beforehand which involved a couple of beers, so maybe I had a bit of Dewey Courage?!
I messaged both ladies an update, & here’s my version to Jane:
Hey – not sure if you got thru today?
My above message yesterday still stands but much more detail has come to light now – including Bob telling me HE called the cops etc etc 🤥
Mum wants to leave – end of story. Bob doesn’t know what to do but is relying on law of her not being a danger to others & not being in danger herself 🤷♂️ Suggestion is for a social worker to be assigned to Mum. That should sort out the men from the boys . . .
Until then – I’ll be calling Mum every day based upon tonight’s conversation with her. Eventually, as Bob didn’t pick up my calls despite appearing active whilst calling I finally got through on Alexa around 90 mins ago – we chatted for just under 30 mins. When I say we chatted, I say that in the loosest possible term as Mum just wanted picking up & Bob wanted to shout . . .
To the best of my ability as it’s late now here’s what happened:
Mum was actually on good form but agitated & desperately wanted to leave the house & visit me. That was her sole focus of the entire conversation. She did not want to be with Bob. Or whoever was in the house with her.
Eva & her Mum Mary both witnessed the entire chat & encouraged her to visit – which Mum loved. Mum wasn’t sure how she could get here so we called Bob in to make it happen . . .
His first words were that it wasn’t a good time to talk with Mum & that she shouldn’t talk with me.
Imagine that.
He then said travel wasn’t possible because docs & pacemaker. We batted that around including the many different timeframes Robby has told us despite nothing concrete from the medical profession – 4, 6, 8 & 9 weeks – eventually him settling on 15th October. I said great – get it booked! He then said she had to settle down before she can travel.
Imagine that.
I said no Bob, that’s not an option – what would make her settle down is if you left & if she came to visit. I nipped that & said: So what are you going to do about it Bob? How are you going to move forward? It’s happening every day. It’s getting worse. Sheriffs twice in a few days etc. He then name-dropped lawyers & police to me.
Imagine that.
He is talking with lawyers about me. He said she’s no threat to herself & no threat to anyone else. I said she wasn’t a threat to anyone else, but that he should watch his back, but she was indeed at risk herself as history has shown.
Mum then simply said that she wanted me to help her.
Imagine that.
Then imagine that again – & think what could you do?
I told him whatever was in Mum’s interests was my sole aim, but if he was talking lawyers & making it not possible for Mum to travel then he wasn’t catering to Mum’s needs, & if that was the case I told Mum I could be with her very quickly & I told Bob I could be there much quicker than he could ever imagine, & if he had any sense he wouldn’t want me there, because it wouldn’t end well for him.
I did not mince my words. Finally.He asked why not? I simply told him that Mum is choosing to leave Deweyland, & he will be faced with life on his own; as opposed to us all trying to work everything out together for everyone’s safe & happy future. He veered off on a tangent & told me he spoke with Gina for an hour today & had a very interesting chat about my involvement. I replied that as long as it was constructive to Mum’s health & well-being then I was delighted, plus do tell me more 🤷♂️
Nothing.
Imagine that.
I know what Gina said & it was basically ‘go see Tim’.
I told Mum that no one could help her apart from God & he would be looking out for her & not to worry, & Bob audibly laughed.
Imagine that.
Yep. Imagine. That.I reassured Mum to talk with a neighbour whenever she felt down, afraid or uneasy – or simply to call me – as because Bob doesn’t ever reply to messages it’s hard to get hold of her.
We left on bright terms & I’ll call her tomorrow & see how she’s doing, but from now-on Bob’s demons have upped the anté . . .
On a slightly different note Bob denies avoiding my calls today, saying he went out & the computer was on, therefore I was an idiot. This is despite popping up as active as I was typing . . .
At one point I called him a spineless twat, but gotta wait for this to unfold.
I’ve sent this to Gina with the addition of asking her to please focus on Mum’s desire to leave – so even a temporary place for observation would be great – then I can get there to help her recuperate with authorities blessings? Trying to work the system . . .
Tired X
I also asked for confirmation that Bob had said he had asked Bill to call the police, rather than Mum, as this seems a pivotal point.
I slept surprisingly soundly again – considering the end of the evening – but woke with a couple of things on my mind & in my heart, so pinged this to Gina to succinctly convey all:
Good morning both – you’re in my prayers for peace, healing, fruit & joy during this tricky season 🙏🏻
I’ve woken up having slept on recent events. It all appears total madness that Bonkers Bob controlling Sane Susan, as surely she simply needs to tell everyone she wants to visit me & between us we can make that happen? No ifs or buts 🤷♂️
But I seem to be stuck on:
1. Bob saying Susan shouldn’t talk to me. That flys in the face of everything she wants. I feel this is a very big deal.
2. Can we categorically establish that Mum wanted Bill to call the cops & not Bob? Again, a very big deal.
3. Get her outta there for observation; no Bob & no booze & she’ll show amazing signs of recovery & between all of us we can arrange recuperation vacation to see family.
I also pray for rest & recuperation for you both too 🙏🏻
I also asked if she’d heard from Bob, which she confirmed she had after receiving my message, but would wait till after the Family Chatty later on today to explain all.
Oh. Something’s afoot . . .
It’s now midday on Tuesday – four hours before Family Chatty – so time for a swim & some lunch eh!
Gina calls me whilst I’m at the beach & tells me of yet another visit by the sheriff to Deweyland. Ahhhh. This time Mum appeared at Gina’s in the late afternoon sporting a big of glass of wine. Sigh. She was adamant she didn’t want to go home – so had effectively fled – so Gina called to police.
A repeat of the previous day ensues with everyone being questioned individually, & it comes to light that as Gina is a pastor she has additional obligations including reporting all concerns she has. This throws new light on the situation for the deputies, as Gina-the-potentially-interferring-neighbour is now Gina-the-Official-Observer-Neighbour & carries clout.
However, because right now Mum is deemed not to be a threat to herself or to others, there’s very little the Sheriff’s Department can do. I’m not sure I agree she’s not at risk as escaping & getting lost isn’t exactly a walk in the park eh – & the only person she’s likely to be a threat to is Bob – they & Gina again suggest calling the docs to arrange for Mum to have a social worker assigned.
Gina also confirms that Bob is twisting the screw on my involvement; painting a very bad light on my entire involvement & that I’ve threatened him & that Mum is at her worst AFTER our chats. Mmmm, bizarre how I constantly receive calls to ‘calm your Mother down will you!’ eh . . .
I convey my views & some facts, including it being no surprise that Bob’s got it in for me as I’m rocking his control over his slave & his pride is lashing out, but his allegations are clearly not true as witnessed over many months of my involvement – including my visit last year – plus of course that he is a functioning alcoholic . . .
Gina also confirms that it was Susan & not Bob who wanted the police to be called previously. Oops Bob, you did it again . . .
Mentally I move on & before I know it we’re having our Family Chatty. Mum is initially very down & is consistent over the entire 90 minute chat that she believes her relationship with Bob is over & she wants out. She wants to see me & is happy to visit Crete. She absolutely is done with him & wants out – if I type it twice maybe it’ll convey how strongly she felt.
I typed the following afterwards to Gina – so she’s aware of Mum’s feelings, wishes & desires along with Bob’s attitude:
Hey up,
Well, we had a marvellous group chat for way over an hour. I let Jane chair all, & she went down the line of giving Bob the option of doing one thing for her & her sister in the forty years she’s known him – which is to both come to Crete now, or to arrange/allow Susan to be chaperoned to visit here alone.
He squirmed, of course, but eventually agreed although naturally a bit of wiggling is expected.
I shan’t bore you with all – but Robbie once again showed his true child-like emotional ability & cold heart – but Jane was very strong & despite his best efforts she got him to communicate. It wasn’t pretty but ended with Bob verbally agreeing to sort all, so we wait.
Obviously Jane had no idea of our chat & what happened yesterday at Deweyland so didn’t know there was a possibility of a psyche exam – but to be fair Mum simply wants to leave Bob & said repeatedly that the relationship is over & she wants to see me.
Just letting you know.
Oh, Bob suggested – almost insisted – that Jane speak with you, as you have spent ‘a lot of time with her over the past week.’ Jane said she would. Bob offered your contact details, but Jane said she already knew them. Bob appears to think that he will be painted in a good light by this, & I must say I’m a little intrigued as to why he would go down this route, unless he has bad-mouthed me so much he thinks you are singing from the same hymn sheet?
Ok, enough for now. Hope your day has been productive. No mention whatsoever of yesterday’s shenanigans with the wine & sheriff, so Bob still none the wiser.
Finally, Bob called me a buffoon at the end of our chat because my Facebook profile pic is a clown – & isn’t very serious. I had to bite my cheek to stop myself from laughing outside, as he’s absolutely desperate to put the boot in. Obviously I said it’s the ones who don’t confirm who he really has to worry about . . . but apart from that I said very little in the chat apart from nodding & telling Mum I’d love to see her whenever she voiced her wishes. Very nice – for a change!
Cheers X
The rest of my evening passed without incident & I woke on Wednesday with no new news from the US of Administration.
Ah, but actually there was an incident, as a new message had popped up in MyChart:
Well imagine that: Bob has asked the docs for Mum to have a psyche evaluation – a sanity test if you will – despite our chat & his agreement to Mum visiting here. There it is, in black & white, that he’s still pushing to ‘send her to a facility’. Oh, yes, clear as day you can see he sent that last message after our family chatty ending . . .
Send. Her. To. A. Facility.
I type all this up & am switching all off a while. It’s not just Mum who wants to escape Bob . . .