Day #76 > THURSDAY 7th JANUARY
Lovely walk with Mum – sunny again – & we ran through her assessment meeting today, as she was stressed about it; ‘View it as an opportunity to air any issues you may have Mum, for example, you’ve literally just told me you fear for your future, so run this past them – as they’re there to help.’ I say. She thanks me for explaining. ‘Well, why are they there?’ Mum asks. ‘Because your lovely country have a welfare system in place to take care of people when they may be in need of help or guidance.’ I say. ‘Think of it as someone to ask advice from, rather than someone who will shine a spotlight in your eyes & interrogate you!’ She beams. She really is worried about it, but we talk at length about receiving help in life & that it’s not an admission of failure, but is sensible & wise to admit when assistance is required. She confirms that she’s worried about the future again, as she can’t take care of the garden or house now, & that seeing the state of it makes her feel unhappy.
Poignant.
She acknowledges that Bob simply doesn’t want to move – or acknowledge there’s any problems at all – so we talk all through again & head towards her forthcoming counselling being a way to address that & get help & guidance. Yes, all goes well.
Within 30 seconds of returning home she’s asking what the lady’s name who’s coming to the appointment with her is called? This is news to us. Mum really is stressed. I reassure & calm her again, & we head off in good time & arrive for our entry questionnaire about Covid. Mum’s called in & 10 minutes later I’m asked to join her. The lady tells me that because Mum’s recollection isn’t too good she’s not sure how she can offer her a place in a group, so I give Mum’s testimony along with the reason why she’s here now – referred by the family practitioner but really this is simply a foot in the door to getting her suitable professional care and an exercise in getting her alcoholic husband to receiving counselling here. All noted, & we both explain to Mum what’s happening & that recommendations will be made about what’s best for Mum’s future care, safety & well-being. She views it as a waste of time & apologises for dragging us out, but I say I dragged you out but as it was an assessment today you were never going to go home with a brand new made-to-measure suit, as today is simply part of the process to getting what’s best for you put in place.
We stop at McDs for a coffee & cinnamon roll – wow, that roll was lovely – best thing I’ve ever eaten at McDs. Ever. More sugary than neat sugar though . . .
Back home, I catch up on letting the DSS know what’s happened today along with work messages, before having a chat with the men in a group I’m part of. Great to talk – for all of us – including Mum earlier too, as everything that was in the dark is now in the light & can be seen. Iron sharpens iron etc. All day every day . . .
Back down at 2.00pm to go for a promised walk with Mum, but she’s having a siesta, so carry on with all upstairs & pretty much get the blog up-to-date, which is quite something. During this time Mum gets up & has taken Abel for a walk by the time I return downstairs. Darn it – I’ve missed her again!
All ok really, as we spend the evening chatting relatively civilly until we watch Jeopardy & I retire to bed.
Bob was relatively civil today – & my gut is telling me he’s just keeping quiet because he knows I’ll be gone soon. I notice there is only one bottle of NA beer in the fridge, which soon goes, & is not replaced with anything. Ouch – must be time to go shopping . . .