Day #05 > WEDNESDAY 28th OCTOBER
Breakfast as normal – coffee & granola – Mum greeted me warmly & we walked Abel. She apologised for ‘raising my voice’ yesterday & said Bob was cold. She claimed to remember her outburst & we both agreed it was better to get it all out rather than let it fester. Mum felt dizzy coming back – stopping briefly twice but only for around 10 seconds each time. It frustrated her & she confirmed the docs couldn’t work out why. She had water & rested when we returned.
All good for an hour or so & we left mid-morning for Costco – had slice of pizza for lunch, all good but suspect bored in back of car. We return & take Abel for another walk – no dizzy spells & all good.
Sat down after our walk & Mum started quizzing Bob why he didn’t speak to her when they were out; why he preferred to talk to the men; she was upset & agitated. I calmed her down with some small talk & managed to persuade her to have a nap.
Mum clearly has issues with Bob, & I can see why he needs some help!
Whilst she was napping I went upstairs to work at around 4.00pm & came down at 5.00pm to cook dinner & found Mum up with a glass of wine in her hand.
We all ate – good – but Mum had more wine & thought I was hosting. And called Jim. I gently corrected her that I was Tim but it was no problem, as I’m just happy to see her.
Whilst cleaning up Bob asked Mum to get a Tupperware container from the cupboard that’s over the fridge/freezer – a high one. I said: ‘No Bob, that’s too high!’ & he replied she could use the stool. Bob felt my reply of ‘No! That’s not going to happen Bob – your wife has a broken neck & will not be climbing on stools. What do you not understand about that?’ We finished clearing up without incident.
Watched Jeopardy till around 8.30pm when Mum said she was going to bed. She headed off to the ground floor bedroom & then I heard front door slam followed by screen & she’d gone! She’d left the building & Bob was totally unaware.
I caught her just walking down the steps to the front porch & said ‘We’re here Mum, we’re at home now’, & she spun round & came inside. She was a little disorientated but seemingly happy to be pointed to bed.
After 15 mins she got up & demanded why Bob wasn’t coming to bed. He said he wasn’t tired yet. She said it never used to be like this & he agreed it didn’t. She thought Bob preferred my company to hers, & was upset. She stormed back into the bedroom & Bob followed, & I heard him say ‘you’re on my side of the bed Susan’, rather than anything to comfort, pacify or simply care for her.
Let’s let that bedside manner sink in for a moment shall we . . .
He gave her bedtime pills & she was asleep within 10 minutes. Bob then thanked me for all I’d done & acknowledged it was hard – but pointed out he didn’t want Susan to end up in a care home, but he didn’t know if he was coming or going as Mum changed a lot. I told him that Mum’s safety & well-being will always come first – which he verbally agreed – & also took the opportunity to replay the stool incident & told him that was neglect – although I really should’ve said abuse – & that there were many changes to be made in due course, then made my way to bed, as I’d had enough of Bob.
I stopped on the way to photograph the whiskey bottle, showered & typed this at 9.34pm before sleeping soundly.
