JULY . . .
The month passes relatively quietly, with our chats being very light & focussing on all things nice, but essentially Mum is in limbo as she’s seemingly obsessed with what her doctor will tell her as a result of her three-hour observation last month. Every conversation revolves about her treading water waiting to hear the results so she can move forward. It’s taking an age to get the results, & Mum is simply pinning her hopes on this being The Answer to all her problems. At one point in the month I remind her that the doc isn’t God, & Mum is perfectly able to be in charge of her own destiny & live her life as she wishes to.
As may be obvious, nothing is heard from DSS & even Gina is unable to offer any insight into Mum’s falling spirits. Truly feels like it’s me against the world at the moment, but as always I’m quickly reminded that every battle is not mine to fight, & that despite outer appearances it’s God who works through us that actually yields results. His will, not mine eh . . .
Groundhog month ensues until Friday 31st July, when I receive That Call again; the one that starts with ‘Hello Tim, Can you please get me out of this place?’
Here we go . . .
We replay the traditional ‘Of course Mum, right away Mum, we’d absolutely love you to visit Mum!’ call, asking Bob to arrange the tickets as soon as possible, to which he agrees. Again. It buoys Mum’s spirits as she’s clearly distressed & doesn’t recognise Bob as her husband. In fact she doesn’t really recognise Bob at all . . .
Naturally two days later I receive the call asking for a million apologies, as in fact she doesn’t want to come & visit after all.
Sigh.
I change tack slightly & combat this with a simple, ‘Oh, why Mum, as we’d love to see you & cannot see why you wouldn’t want to come & visit us here – it’s been ages since we’ve seen you & surely you’d love a vacation!’ Naturally I’m trying to avoid stress & it feels that by simply encouraging her to visit as a holiday would be kinder to all.
Typically she’s having none of it – finding reasons not to come left, right & centre – but ultimately cannot answer why she now doesn’t want to come & see me when she confirms she’d love to. I try to leave it light, & very open for her to change her mind – but she feels embarrassed at the fuss she is causing. I reassure her she is always welcome to visit, just say the word whenever she is ready & we’ll make it happen.
She’s still waiting for the results of her assessment – & still treading water at Deweyland with nothing to look forward to. Oh how I pray this will change . . .