BACK IN BLIGHTY . . .
I feel like I’ve failed.
I know I know but I just can’t help it. I got so close but haven’t hit the mark. So close yet so far . . .
I feel I’ve left Mum in the heart of it when I should’ve pulled her out of the fire. However, I am strongly reminded that I am simply to shine light & let God do His work; if nothing else I have illuminated what’s good & right in this world we live in, & simply pray that Mum – & Bob – see what life is like in the light.
I’m also reminded that she’s off all medication, is not drinking like she used to, has shared some proper life with her boy & is in charge of her future – all of which was sorely missing before I arrived.
Most importantly though, I’m reminded of the scripture I opened this rambling narrative with:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-11
Every single word shouts to me – every single one. That is my comforter. That is love.
Moving forward, of course Mum & I speak regularly, along with having a weekly family video chatty every Monday with Aunty Jane in HK. Mum puts on a brave face, natch, but I hear the sadness in her voice; the sadness of having nothing to look forward to & – quite literally – doing nothing. Bored. Sigh.
I note with sadness – but not surprise – Bob has barely said a word to me since I’ve left. Barely a word.
However to combat this I’m swamped with work for my first three weeks back in the saddle – which is just as well, as I’m officially in isolation for the first 10 days due to pesky Covid restrictions. It’s no biggie though, & I simply enjoy being back in a warm, bright & loving household in Blighty & being able to do what brings me joy – which is to feel worthwhile, loved & be able to give love. And play about making things look pwiddy at work @ GIG.INK
Despite the drizzle, snow, brrrrrr & general dark dampness that Blighty offers at this time of year I’m full of warmth & love inside . . .
God bless us all,
Tim
One reply on “Back in Blighty . . .”
Thanks so much for sharing all of this so eloquently, Tim. You’re a good soul and a loving son and I honestly don’t think there’s anymore you could’ve done without actively taking the reins away from your Mum. I can only imagine how hard and frustrating that must’ve been for you. To echo what you’ve said many times across this blog, your Mum has self determination capacity and while it would be eminently satisfying to swoop in and take over, respecting her volition in all of this only serves to underline what a considerate, understanding and loving son you are. Sending you and Lia a MONSTA hug each and looking forward to catching up soon. Also, cheers for the massively unhealthy burger craving that’s now consuming my thoughts…mmm…CHEESE…