FEBRUARY . . .
Groundhog Days.
I continue to have regular chattys with Mum – including our weekly family video chatty with Jane too – via Alexa or whatever means. I’ll be the first to admit it hasn’t been easy, as even before I’d left the country Bob had allowed Mum back on The Sauce, & experience has taught me that it’s be a slippery slope from sauce to depression to meds to madness; so all I can possibly do is simply ‘be there’ at the end of the line for her. I can’t really offer much from this side of the pond, as Bob is holding all the aces & pulling the strings as he sees fit.
Our chats are light-ish, but often touch on the subject of alcohol & Mum feeling depressed & that her life is just slipping through her fingers – so are also regularly dark & hard work too, which despite soothing for myself in addressing what I feel needs addressing & pointing Ma in the ‘right’ direction, they’re actually ultimately depressing for Mum who is unable to make any decisions or choices on her own, so I desperately try to keep all light & fluffy, but often find myself caught up in trying to address what I see as ‘issues’. It’s not helping her at all. Bob is nowhere to be seen – the silence is deafening, as he always finds something else to do in the house whenever Mum & I are talking, but him not facing up to issues isn’t exactly new news eh . . .
They truly have returned to their old ways.