Day 86 > SUNDAY 17th JANUARY
Church today; it’s sunny outside & I have a 100 mile drive in the Charger – yeeharr!
As you may imagine, the journey is good ’n’ quick – plus a bit loud – & church is fabulous. Again, the teach is ensuring we are in love with Jesus – that He comes first & foremost, with everything else radiating from there. Simple. Scriptural. Solid. Strong. Love this. It’s my last visit so we say our goodbyes & pray together – plus I have a chat with Pastor Rebecca about Mum & Bob, as I originally spoke with her about all & wanted to update her. She reassures me it’s Mum & Bob’s choice – demonic of course – but all I can do is shine God’s light & let Him do the work: His will, not mine. Enough said. I leave, sad to end my time here but absolutely overjoyed with the new friends I’ve made – & Terry nearly breaks my neck again with his goodbye hug . . .
Cracking drive back – sun is shining brightly still – plus I stop for my last dirty steak, cheese, jalapeño, onion & hash brown bowl along with a coffee. Yum.
I stop back at the Airbnb for an hour’s rest – I didn’t sleep well as mentioned, so needed some shut-eye – before heading over to Deweyland for dinner.
Now, interestingly, during my travels today I’ve received messages from both Lia & Jane telling me that Bob had messaged them individually early this morning, & to avoid any misinterpretation I quote here:
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Bob > Lia
I don’t know (I hope you do) but Tim never left the Usa. He has been staying at an abbe and showed up last night on our door step. He is coming back tonight for dinner. When he goes back yo.
I hope our neighbours and Jane are not involved. Susan has some memory problems but we are working through them and will ask for help.
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Bob > Jane
Jane, what is happening with Tim?
Are you aware that Tim never went back to England but has been lurking about Columbia , staying at an abnb since last Tuesday. He showed up at our back door last night (about 6pm) with a tale about worrying about us. Strangely enough he coming for Sunday Dinner and then wants to take us out for a lavish Lunch before his flight to UK.
I’m sure there are others that are part of this plan, You, Gina,Dion, Tripp. Why such an elaborate ruse. With only four days of rest from Tim we felt great.
I hope you can tell us what the big plan is. Eva seemed disappointed that Tim would try and interfere with someone’s else’s life, no matter how they feel. Is this a spying operation?
Susan and Bob
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Mmmm, interesting. Bob is feeling spied on. Well, a thief is always worried about being robbed right? I look at the language: hoping the neighbours & Jane are not involved to Lia BUT being sure that others are involved when messaging Jane; me lurking in Columbia. Showing up at their back door with a tale; lavish lunch; ruse, Only four days of rest from me & they feel great; Eva seemed disappointed with me. etc., etc.
That’s not to mention him signing off his message Susan and Bob . . .
Every single point is skewed & plain ole wrong. Mmm. I admit it gets my back up. It. Ok, I give it to God – eventually – & am reminded that it’s no surprise that Bob will distort any truth to suit himself, but this is sheer fiction & lies. This is how he rolls. I get it; he’s trying to discredit me, of course, & he’s painted the picture that he doesn’t understand what’s going on & life is great now that I’ve left. Ok, I can work with that . . .
I arrived at Deweyland around 5.00pm & found Mum & Bob a little subdued. Bob has an NA beer can by his throne.
Mum said she felt a little sad, but she stressed that was because I was leaving. I probed a little as despite constantly covering for Bob & saying how amazing Bob was, she was constantly contradicting herself: ‘I haven’t seen a good doctor for ages.’ she says. I mention the recent visits to Dr Lyle & she agrees that he’s amazing, so I say she’s just gone from not seeing a good doctor to hero Dr Lyle at the drop of a hat – she seems very ‘pliable’ & bends with the wind. Then she quotes that Bob is helping her enormously, for example he’s helping her by washing up, I mention that they have a dishwasher She’s trying to keep Bob happy. I don’t like it. But I can’t change it. Lord – please change it! Mum needs to be loved – don’t we all eh – & therefore has an overwhelming need to paint the picture to me that Bob loves her, because it would be unbearable to her to accept that he doesn’t show her love as that would mean she’s on her own in life. Alas, my experience in that house tells me he doesn’t show her any love at all.
I’m reminded of the ‘I just want to live a long & happy married life with you Susan’ line that Bob trots out whenever Mum puts him under the spotlight about how he’s treating her. The lack of care; lack of attention; total lack of empathy & indeed love. I’ve asked Mum how he shows her how he is going to live a long & happy married life with her, but she can’t ever answer.
We eat dinner – roast beef with a unique gravy & soggy roast potatoes – he’s gone the extra mile which I appreciate. No wine or beer is served, which is de facto whenever they actually know I’ll be around. We make general chitty-chatty, & once Bob is relatively relaxed & in continual CAMMM mode (Chatting About Me Me Me mode) I ask them both if they both understand why I did what I did? Do you both understand why I said I’d left but then reappeared a few days later? Mum said she did. ‘Yes.’ She simply said. ‘Yes I do, & thank you for your care.’ You’re more than welcome Mum. ‘Bob?’ I asked again, as he was silent. ‘What?’ He replied. ‘Do you understand why I left & then came back again?’ ‘Yes’ he said.
Oh. Yes he said. Yes. He understands.
‘Good, I’m really pleased to hear that.’ I say. ‘And just to confirm, I came back because I was concerned for Mum’s safety. I am worried that you would both return to how life was before I arrived in October, & because I cannot return here once I leave the US – because travel out of the UK is illegal now – I had to do everything I possibly could to ensure you’re both safe, as my heart wouldn’t let me leave without knowing . . . but as it turns out, you’re back on the alcohol already, so good job I did return, as I know your intentions now. Alcohol was at the root of all Mum’s issues, & it’s started again already. Ok, I know where we all stand now.’
I left it like that. Plain & simply, if I caused a scene now Bob would take it out on Mum once I walked out of the door, & as I have no option but to leave the country within a couple of days my hand was forced. All I could do was let him know that I was on to him & let Mum know that I was worried for her safety & that alcohol was bad news for them both, but she was not on her own as I was only a phone call away.
From then I simply made chitty-chatty & kept the conversation light; I had my answer that the original quitting of the sauce was solely for my benefit, as within a matter of hours of leaving new beer & wine had entered the building. I knew where I stood. You’ve got to pick your battles right . . .
I left as soon as it was polite to do so, as I felt truly uncomfortable in their presence – well, Bob’s presence – & I felt overwhelmed with sadness at Mum’s earlier justification of staying with Bob & allowing her to drink.
I prayed on my way back to Columbia, that the truth shine brightly & for both Mum & Bob to be blessed & for this situation to end. Dear God, please put an end to Mum’s torment, however you deem right I know it will be RIGHTEOUS.
Sigh.
