Day #21 > FRIDAY 13th NOVEMBER
Mum doesn’t have her neck collar on when I come down. This isn’t new at all – in fact it’s completely normal – but given the doc’s visit earlier in the week it’s very disappointing & unnerving that they’re back to square one already. I wait for Bob to pick up on it. He doesn’t. It’s looking like a long wait so I ask him about it; he says he doesn’t know where it is as Mum washed the piece of chin foam last night. He makes zero effort to find the collar so I tell Mum that I’ll find it & subsequently locate it & pop it on her, & then tell Bob in no uncertain terms that Social Services would be very unhappy if he’s not ensuring Mum’s wearing the collar again. And sigh.
We walk Abel – again, zero dizziness from Mum – & I discuss the thought of taking Mum away for a few days, so that both she & I can bond together – as we’ve never spent any time alone – but also to see if being away from the house & Bob makes any difference to her recall & general mood – her ‘well-being’ if you like . . .
Once we’re back Mum immediately tells Bob we’re going away for a couple of days. I confirm this & suggest Charleston as it’s full of history & character, which Mum loves. Bob says ‘ok’. Mum & Bob talk heart-to-heart, with Mum confirming she feels that Bob doesn’t show her any love, although she is slightly muddled with timeframes, but once again her feelings shine through. We agree she & I will go away towards the end of next week. We ask Bob if he has any questions – & he simply says ‘where?’ I tell him Charleston – & remind him I’d already said that – & he starts to tell us all about Charleston – I tune out . . .
We go to Costco – whoop, out out! – I think it tires Bob out. Two hours plus. It’s cold in there – so I find Mum a heater to stand under!
Once we’re back I get changed & when I come down Bob tells me Mum’s in the garden working. About 15 minutes later I see her working without a collar. I mention to him gently that he originally told me Mum’s outside & I’ve just seen her, but she doesn’t have a collar on – & that Social Services would be very unhappy if he’s not ensuring Mum’s wearing the collar again. I see a pattern emerging here, perhaps I can use gentle coercion myself but threaten authority? Not sure, but worth a punt . . .
I blow the drive. Bob stops me mid-blow to tell me he has a new spark plug in the truck. Is there a pattern here? Interrupting me every time? Of course Bob doesn’t actually tell me anything because I can’t hear a thing with a 2-stroke engine whizzing in my ear, so I shut it down, walk to him in the kitchen doorway from the driveway where he tells me again. I am flabbergasted. Really I say, you stop me to tell me that when you can clearly see it’s working well?! He says oh forget it then. I don’t forget it. I tell him in no uncertain terms that an engine in my ear means I can’t hear, why didn’t he walk down the drive to me like last time he wanted to talk to me mid-blow? He says I could’ve walked over to him. Once my eyebrows had come back to my face I use a teeny-tiny bit of sarcasm to point out that he wanted to talk to me didn’t he, had he lost his legs somewhere & want me to look for them? I could not understand why he would stop me when he was just watching TV?
Good grief.
We then embark on some crazy conversation about a spark plug he thought I had said he needed to buy – I told him he didn’t listen as I said no such thing – & just walked off as we were getting nowhere. Once I’d cooled off – & finished the drive – I went back inside & spoke to him properly about it; I queried his logic & told him if he was fit enough to blow himself as he claimed, why hadn’t he done it instead of keep interrupting me, because I’m only trying to help. I don’t get it. Maybe he needs to feel important or ‘useful’? Yes, of course he does – he needs to be superior in every way. Regardless of that, he certainly felt my breath today . . .
Mum had her single anti-depressant tablet in the afternoon rather than morning yesterday, & we’re doing the same today – at my ‘recommendation’ – to see if there’s any obvious difference in her behaviour as she always seems much worse mid-afternoon. Yesterday I noticed she seemed a little more ‘away’ in the evening , so although it’s too early to tell for sure, it does look like the tablet is pushing her over the edge 4-6 hours after she takes it.
I’m typing this at 4.00pm, with Mum looking for the silver polish & Bob watching TV. Livin’ the dream . . . nothing to report at all later – usual Groundhog Day evening ensues . . .
